- I never managed to get up and run in the morning while everyone was in bed. (Too dark to run by myself. )
- I now work on mon. and wed. Get up at 6 and don't get home til 6
- I can't take my kids on even my short runs lately due to the rain and SNOW (i won't even get my butt out in the snow, did you see my bloody knees on a dry night?!)
- I'm not willing to sacrifice family time or me and josh time to run, even if it gets me to complete a dream. Just not worth the trouble it could make.
- Josh doesn't get home on Tuesdays until about 9pm. So that day is out.
This list makes me feel a "little" tiny bit better about myself quitting this goal, it actually makes me feel there is a "little" reason for it. But I'm still frustrated, sad and just annnngggggggrrrrrrrrryyyyy about the situation. I love my family and the role i play in it. I wouldn't ever trade what i have for a good running schedule, i just wish there were many more hours in the day i suppose.
I'll just have to wait until running can be crammed into my life a little better, hopefully when the it's brighter earlier in the morning i can start up again. We shall see. I'm still going to run when i can fit it in, but sporadic runs won't cut it if i were to try and run 13.1 miles. I'm not that dumb!
All this means that i will just have a little bit more time to focus on whatever life dreams i want to accomplish right? Okay, even that doesn't make me feel better right now, but maybe tomorrow :)
I am SO SAD to have you out :( I was looking forward to those Saturday runs, the fact that I was going to get to see you more often, and the fact that we got to finally do a race together (have we not dreamed about that before?) BUT.... I do understand! I agree apon your priorities and I think you have them right. You are a mommy and a wife and that is the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE! The time you get to run a half marathon will come along in life.... you have a long life ahead of you! And when you do we should do it together :) DEAL???
ReplyDeleteIt is tough. You are allowed to be sad and disappointed and angry that now is not the time in your life to fit in half marathon training. I think your list is a VERY valid and commendable list. I would much rather here this sort of story (sad though it may be) than hear that you are fine with leaving your kids and other things that need you just to be able to run. To everything there is a season. Your little ones and hubby need you right now. Running time will come.
ReplyDeleteDon't be so hard on yourself! It is just especially difficult to run when it is dark in the mornings and gets dark so early at night too. I haven't run consistently since I got pregnant with Oliver. Think of it this way - in three months it will stay light out later and your whole family can go out for a run together. I was thinking we could run together (with all the kids in the strollers, of course) when the weather was better in the late mornings, but just realized you work Monday and Wednesday and I work Tuesday and Thursday. Guess that won't work either! You can do this later in the year and still meet your goal for this year! Don't give up or feel discouraged!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how you are feeling. But don't beat your self up on it. Its only a race. We should do a 10k this fall together. That way it doesn't require much time to actually train, but it is still a good accomplishment. I am so excited (But so nervous) to see how having 2 kids will change the whole family life. Family is def. much more important than a race. I have given up races before because I haven't had the time to train and I had bigger priorities. You have your whole life time to run, but only a limited time to have your children living with you, and they are only young once. I wouldn't put any race before my children. They grow up way too quickly. Just thinking about how fast they grow makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteLook at the bright side- now you and I can still get runs in here and there and I won't have to worry about you leaving me in the dust cause you're all trained!! Okay I guess that's just a bright side for me ( : You're priorities are in the right place- it will get better in a couple of months when is is light longer
ReplyDeleteYou can join me in the "Breezin through Town" in June. It's only a 5k. You can handle that no prob. me on the other hand... I've got my work cut out for me.
ReplyDeleteYou are a fantastic wife and mother, you will get your half marathon... I bet you get a full marathon in someday too. (And I think you just had a baby too, you're good!)
I'm so sorry! It always sucks when you don't accomplish a goal you've set. But I agree with everyone else, your priorities are right and the time when you can do the half marathon will come! Don't be TOO hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteJessica I admire you for realizing how important your family is right now. Your friends are right. There is a time and season. Soon, your kids will be grown and can ride their bikes with you while you run. Then you will look back and remember that time you spent with them playing with their kitchen or snuggling them down for a nap. You won't have regrets because you are able to do everything you want in the season it is supposed to happen.
ReplyDeleteDitto to all the comments here. I've been really struggling to fit in exercise with 4 kids. I've always been able to do it before, but somehow, with taking Karissa to school, two babies, Kyle back and forth to preschool...some days I just can't do it. I don't know that I'm totally okay with it, but I guess I'm resigned to doing the best I can.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you are smart to wait on the marathon (half marathon?). Someday in the future, you will totally fulfill that dream, so don't be too disappointed!
It's tough trying to fit everything in a 24 hour day. Sometimes I wish my day had 36 hours just so I could do the things I want to do:) There will be a time to do it and it's a bummer that this weather is making running out of the question... I'm with you all the way that family time is more important:)
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