Baby Bump! and huge baby update

I'm such an awful slacker this time around. Even though i didn't have internet i still had a camera and i failed to take pictures of my growing baby until a couple weeks ago...I've been getting big really fast. I have mixed comments coming in and i never know who to believe (so i go with how i feel and i feel big most days) Some people tell me, "what?! big? no. you look great!" or "it's because it's your third" -which makes me feel larger'ish but still normal and lastly "wow! you grew since i last saw you!" -which is mostly from patients who i saw only about 2 weeks prior...hmmmm I'm definetly super emotional this time around which doesn't help. I hardly ever cry, but with this pregnancy i am close to tears all the time it seems (which is sort of a nice switch) but really i teared up during a youtube crash testing video of a car we are considuring! that was just a little too crazy!

I don't know why i have slacked so much on pictures, i was on top of it with the last two kids. well i do know. I haven't been so proud of my growing belly this time around for some reason. It came so fast and makes me feel fat not pretty! (one of the main reasons i think it's a girl-that's how i felt with Riley, with Braden i felt SO pretty most of the time!)

I am sad that i don't love it so much. I LOVE knowing their is life growing in me and it took quite a few months to get that to happen. So that is why i neglecting taking the monthly pictures even though i knew i would regret it.

Well about a week before this picture my nurse called and said they recieved results from my 20week ultrasound and i had TOO much amniotic fluid (polyhydrmanios) and that i needed to started doing weekly ultrasounds to monitor the fluid level until delivery or until my dr directed me to stop (he was on vacation). I was instantly nervous that something-anything was wrong with the pregnancy.  Pregnancies are so delicate and one little thing could make it go so wrong, ya know?

Let the googling begin! i googled a  lot on what this complication is, why it happens, what causes it, the risks for baby and for me etc. i found out that this happens to all of 1-2% pregnancies (lucky me!) it can be caused by gestational diabetes (which i was tested for a week later and do NOT have) it can be caused by swallowing problems with the baby or a complete intestinal blockage in the baby, 65% of cases are just unknown and there is a 1% chance a chromosomal abnormality with the baby is causing this.

Well about a week after this news i had my monthly check up, but this time with a new OBGYN in my same medical group b/c my dr was on vacation. I'm SO glad i got to meet him. i LOVED him and wasnt thrilled with my origional OBGYN. I let him know what was going on (what the nurse called and said). He did the normal lay me down and measure pelvic bone to top of uterus and did say i was measuring for 28weeks along and i was only 23.5weeks at that point! He sent me to a specialist the next day.

When i saw the specialist they did see a high level of amniotic fluid but no swallowing issues and no intestinal blockage issues. Since it wasn't that and i dont' have gestational diabetes he said there is a 1% chance for a chromosomal abnormality causing this. I was too overwhelmed with info at the dr's to ask him if there are certain ones that seem to cause this. So when i went home and googled again. I found out that IF it is a chromosomal thing (again 1% chance...but already i am the 1-2% chance of having this polyhydramnios) it is mosty usually associated with abnormalities on chromosomes 21, 18 and 13.  21 causing down syndrome and 18 and 13 both can cause severe mental retardation.  While i was googling it did say that if diagnosed with polyhydrmanios in the 2nd trimester there is a small chance it can go away all together in the 3rd (fingers crossed!)

So i had definit MIXED emotions. I was prouder of that big belly of mine, knowing that i only look and feel sooo huge because i am stretched to one month bigger than i really should be! (felt good for my prideful side)

but a little devestated (not going to lie) that this baby might not be the type of "perfect" all mom's are hoping for.  We are opting to NOT do the amniocentisis b/c it would be purely informational and there wouldnt be one darn thing to "fix" and we, of course, will keep and love this baby NO MATTER WHAT!

I have good and bad days. Good days where i feel so BLESSED to be pregnant and to feel this super duper active baby always bumping, nudging, kicking and rolling around and SOOOOO excited to meet him or her. and Other days where i am overcome with worry and guilt. Worry that this baby will not be the "perfect" i mentioned before, that this baby could possibly have a lifetime of trials ahead, and for me and josh too. and guilt for caring about that.

There is a big risk of premature labor and delivery because i have so much fluid, there is an increased risk of miscarriage. I already have contractions every day, about one an hour or so. Dr didnt seem too worried yet but did confirm they are real contractions (probably becasue all the fluid is stretching my unterus, he said) they don't hurt but every time i feel one it just makes me worry how this pregnancy may end?

I normally HATE telling other people my "problems" but because i get sooo many people saying "how far along are you?" and i have to let them know i still have until the end of December i feel, for some reason, like i have to explain myself. So PLEASE do NOT feel like you have to ask me how im doing...all the attention about "issues" is hard!

I promise to keep all updated!